I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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