Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
