some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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