so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
