no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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