Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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