did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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