there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize