You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
