So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
why is half of my head shaved?
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