Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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