Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I understand Curling. That high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
