Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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