Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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