I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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