She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
3 2 1 whiskey
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
