he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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