So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
