I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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