i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
