i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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