We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
