I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
