and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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