They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
