my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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