I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
