i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
