Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i came on her dog
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
