this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
