McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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