yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize