the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
