you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
