i think i have two assholes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
