shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
