my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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