I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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