Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
