What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
