i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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