your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
