Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize