lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
