I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
