hotel room ftw
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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