Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
