"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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