There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
