She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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