Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
