she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize