She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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