you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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