New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
