I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
