don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
