I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
