So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
