is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
