as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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