I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
