I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
