i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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