i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
