...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
