Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
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I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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