week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
