You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
