i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
